There is a quote attributed to Karl Marx, in which he riffs upon an observation by the philosopher Hegel: "All world-historical facts and personages appear twice, the first time as tragedy, the second time as farce." And nobody does farce like McSweeny's Internet Tendency. This time their sights are set on the latest automotive affectation, Tesla's Full Self Driving. Which isn't of course really self driving, much as Jay Gatsby's car wasn't really fooling anyone into thinking he'd gone to Oxford.

Naturally, we all remember what Nick Carraway and Tom Buchanan thought of Gatsby's car, but as a refresher the somewhat star-struck Nick described it as having "a rich cream color, bright with nickel, swollen here and there in its monstrous length with triumphant hat-boxes and supper-boxes and tool-boxes, and terraced with a labyrinth of wind-shields that mirrored a dozen suns." Meanwhile, Tom the skeptical aristocrat derided it as a "circus wagon."

At any rate, we'll let McSweeny's take it from here.

JAY GATSBY GOES FULL SELF DRIVING by JEFF STEINBRINK